Healing My Inner Child

Embracing Shadows and Becoming Whole

If there’s one part of my journey I want to share with you, it’s how I healed my inner child and worked through the shadows that once felt like heavy weights in my life. When I look back, I see the younger version of myself - a little girl who felt so many big emotions, some of which I struggled to understand or express. She faced moments of sadness, anger, and doubt, yet she also held onto dreams of love, belonging, and a life filled with light.

As I grew up, I realised I carried those early experiences, tucked away deep inside. I thought I could ignore them, push them down, and just keep moving forward. But those hidden parts - the ones I tried so hard to ignore - became my shadows. On this journey to self-love, I’ve come to understand that these shadows hold the key to profound healing and transformation.

So, what are shadows, really?  

To me, shadows are the parts of myself I once felt ashamed of, the pieces I hid away because I thought they didn’t belong. They looked like anger, low self-esteem, sadness, abandonment, anxiety, and the nagging feeling of being “not good enough” - qualities I struggled to process and pushed aside just to get by. These shadows lingered in my subconscious, quietly shaping how I saw myself and how I interacted with the world.

For the longest time, I didn’t even realise these parts of me existed. I thought I had moved past those difficult experiences, but they were there all along, waiting for acknowledgment and understanding. Working with these shadows wasn’t easy - it took gentleness, patience, and a willingness to look within. And this journey wasn’t about judging or criticising myself; it was about accepting these shadows as pieces of my story.

Acknowledging & Accepting My Shadows

True self-love began for me the moment I had the courage to acknowledge my shadows rather than ignore them. I learned to speak to that little girl within me, saying, “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel this way.” Each shadow carried a piece of my past, shaped by experiences and challenges that helped me grow. By acknowledging them, I could honour the journey that led me here.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Through this process, I also discovered the power of self-compassion. I began speaking kindly to myself, treating my inner child with the love and gentleness she had always needed. I started speaking to myself as I would to my friends, realising that if I ever spoke to them the way I spoke to myself, I wouldn’t have any friends at all. So why did I judge myself and speak to myself this way? I chose compassion instead. Embracing self-love wasn’t about achieving perfection; it was about recognising my worth, even with my flaws. I came to see that even the parts I once shied away from deserved compassion.

Exploring & Understanding the Lessons

By looking within, I began to understand the lessons my shadows held. It wasn’t about self-criticism but an invitation to gain insight into my journey. Those shadows weren’t just there to be healed- they also held resilience, strength, and truths that helped me move forward. They reminded me that I could choose how to grow, transforming each experience into a powerful step on the path to healing.

When I felt confusion about who I was or why I felt the way I did, I used to numb it with alcohol and substances. I didn’t understand why those feelings were there- they lived on an unconscious level. And I know so many of us numb ourselves because, at the time, it’s all we know to make it go away, to avoid feeling the weight of it all. But when I stopped numbing and started to learn who I truly was, when I released the suppression I’d held inside, the shadows stopped being shadows. They became beacons of light, illuminating what I needed to see within myself.

I wasn’t afraid anymore. It felt as if I had a new way of seeing myself and my external world- a life I had chosen for myself, filled with energy and people who lifted me. I no longer felt like I didn’t belong the day I learned to love myself, shadows and all.

By facing my shadows, I reconnected with my inner girl- the little girl who had been hidden within those shadows all along. I could finally bring her into the light and show her that we are safe, that we can do anything together. I have her, and I’ll never let her be lost in those shadows again. Now, we dance with them, each shadow a reminder that light can only come from the dark.

If you’re beginning your own journey of self-discovery, remember that it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Each act of kindness toward yourself, each moment of self-compassion, can be a powerful healing step. Because one day, you’ll look back at your healing timeline and see just how far you’ve come. You’ll see the courage it took to take back the reins of your life. And yes, life would go on either way- the sun rises every day, and the years still pass by. But the gratitude you’ll feel for yourself, for choosing to do the work and to live life on your own terms, is something profound. You’ll know that you chose your journey, your energy, and the people who sit at your table. You’ll realise that you get to choose everything around you- but first, it has to start within.

So, here’s what I want you to know: transforming our shadows into steps for growth can be one of the most empowering gifts we give ourselves. When we embrace all parts of who we are, we unlock a deeper, more authentic self-love. Take a moment to honour yourself for the journey you’re on, and know that you, too, can find healing by embracing your shadows with love.

Sending love and light, 

Renee