My Deepest

“Five years ago, I recorded an audio message during one of my darkest moments. I wrote and recorded it just two days after I grappled with the overwhelming urge to end my life.

The words in this recording are raw and unfiltered, capturing the profound emotions I felt and the comfort I desperately needed. In that moment of enlightenment, I knew I had to document my feelings, not just to reflect on what had happened but because something inside me knew I would one day share it with someone who needed to hear it. Now, I feel called to write this blog to attach to the audio, hoping to touch the hearts of anyone who reads or listens to it in the hope it might empower you.”

Speaking From My Inner Experience

I am about to share this story, which is raw, but that is what my blogs are—speaking from my inner experiences. I know from a professional and personal level that keeping it in is the most dangerous thing we can do because our minds can feel like a storm of overwhelming thoughts and emotions all at once, just brewing inside us like a cyclone causing chaos.

With my light, I aim to remove the shame attached to these feelings and replace it with hope. I want to provide tools to ease the mind and create a space where you can feel seen and heard. I want you to know that you are not alone—even though it can feel that way. As a survivor, I understand what it feels like to be lost and in the dark. All I want to do is share my story and the steps I've taken to get through my colourful life and to offer my light to those who need it. Why is this so close to my heart that I want to share it with you? Because I understand the internal battle of the dark versus the light and those feelings of overwhelm between anxiety and the emotions we feel. I never wanted to die; I didn't want to feel what I was feeling anymore. If we can remove those feelings and understand ourselves on a deeper level, knowing that you can find the light over the dark gave me the strength to share my story now with you. You need to know that you are enough, that your feelings are valid, and that you will get through this.


Shining Light on Darkness: Releasing Parts of My Personal Story to Help Others

Five years ago, I recorded an audio message during one of my darkest moments. I wrote and recorded it just two days after I grappled with the overwhelming urge to end my life. The words in this recording are raw and unfiltered, capturing the profound emotions I felt and the comfort I desperately needed. In that moment of enlightenment, I knew I had to document my feelings, not just to reflect on what had happened but because something inside me knew I would one day share it with someone who needed to hear it. Now, I feel called to write this blog to attach to the audio, hoping to touch the hearts of anyone who reads or listens to it in the hope it might empower you.

Even though it took me half a decade to find the strength to release this audio, this isn't a plea for attention but rather an offering of hope and understanding to you if you're experiencing similar thoughts. My goal is to be a light, a source of normalcy, and a comforting presence for you in your struggle. I may not have all the answers, but I hope you resonate with this message.

I want to be your beacon of hope, a source of comfort, and, most importantly, a reminder that you don't have to face this alone. Whether you or someone you know is experiencing helplessness or being overwhelmed, these feelings can be so strong that they feel paralyzing, leaving you completely stuck.

When you're in that dark place, I know it can feel impossible to reach out to someone out of fear. But I'm here to tell you it's okay to seek help. Talk to a trusted friend who can offer you a safe space; that one person you know won't make you feel different or judge you. Most importantly, please connect with a psychologist who can help you navigate these overwhelming feelings. Breaking the silence around the word "suicide" is essential. We need to remove the stigma and shame so you can seek the help you need without fear of judgment.

We are all human, and none of us truly knows the pain another person might be enduring. If we judge, we cannot love. I hope no one has to hear those heart-wrenching words, "I wish I had been there for them more," after it's too late. I've lost friends to suicide, and the shock always comes with the same refrain: "They seemed so happy. I never expected this."

Please don't wait until it's too late to check in on those you care about, especially those who appear the happiest. Sometimes, they are the ones who need support the most.

By sharing this audio and blog publicly, I hope to shed some light for friends and family members who may not fully understand what someone experiencing suicidal thoughts might be going through. I sincerely hope this brings enlightenment and deeper empathy to those who resonate with my words. Understanding and awareness are powerful tools for supporting those we love.

I hope it brings you the solace and understanding you might need right now. If you're feeling lost, please reach out to someone you trust. I've included contact numbers below for additional support.

Let's create a world where we can speak openly about our struggles without fear of judgment. Together, we can break the silence and support each other through life's challenging moments. By sharing this, I hope to bring light to your darkest moments and remind you that help and hope are always within reach.

Let's break the silence together, embrace hope, and support each other on this journey.

With Love, Nay xx

IF YOU OR SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW IS IN NEED OF SUPPORT, PLEASE REACH OUT TO A PROFESSIONAL.

Helplines, Suicide Hotlines, and Crisis-Lines from Around the World (therapyroute.com)

Mental health helplines | healthdirect

Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14 - Crisis Support. Suicide Prevention.